After divorce: Happier, stronger you
When I separated, although I didn't realize it at the time, I had embarked on an adventure to some mysterious destination yet to be determined
My view of myself changed astronomically after my divorce. No longer part of a couple, I felt different, rattling around in my social circle with nothing to ground me in events. Showing up at parties alone, I felt that no one was interested in what I had to say. I was lost, as my world had been based on couples—it seemed that I had lost my identity.
But I soon realized that life would just pass me by if I identified myself with who I was—as part of a married couple, versus who I could be—a fabulous single woman. Not growing, I would be the same lost person who I felt had little to contribute because I was no longer married. I realized that life would just be empty and boring if I waited to be rescued by my Knight in Shining Armor. So, I opened myself up to many new experiences and opportunities, and along the way have become a very different person.
I feel strong, and have reconciled who I used to be in my marriage with who I’ve become today. I now have longer, straight hair when before I had short, curly hair. There are fine lines around my eyes. I’ve changed. But, the changes are more than just physical. I now embrace my life with open arms as I allow myself to learn from life experience. Not only have I settled into the new me, but my parents, siblings and friends have had to adapt too. They find it interesting to relate to this newly introspective, assertive, smart, confident, sensitive and, dare I say, sexy woman.
Life is definitely different as a single woman in mid life, than when I was single in my twenties. I have a sense of who I am. I certainly did not have such a rich life when I first separated. I gained it through a lot of hard work and a desire to be content and happy.
As I move forward in life and developed an identity that makes me feel proud, these strategies helped me get to where I am today—of course, experience and research have helped enlighten me.
The five things I learned?
