The online affair
After a little bit too much wine my girlfriend, Susanne*, comes out with it: "I want to tell you about someone who's really special in my life." Uh oh. As it turns out, the "someone" is her secret lover of 4 years — although they've only met once, and he lives a four-hour flight away.
Welcome to the 21st century and the world of the online affair. Although Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning might recognize an affair [carried out largely through words], the Internet is still a unique tool for those searching for love. It allows people to meet and connect; share pictures and video; participate in activities like gaming together and can also be more private than a letter in the mailbox.
But what would motivate someone — particularly a married someone — to conduct an online affair for 4 years? That's the first question that blurts out of my mouth, and Susanne shares with me a lot about her marriage. She loves her husband Joshua very much and they've been together for more than a decade. But she's a talker who loves to process every aspect of her life verbally and he's more introverted and prefers quiet.
Together — but apart
Over time they developed the habit of spending the majority of their evenings together — on separate computers. "I love my life," she said. "If I didn't, I would change it. But what I like to do is chat and connect with people. If I do it online, I'm still at home if Joshua needs me."
And then there's her online guy, Mitch. Mitch is single after a difficult divorce. They met on a discussion list and soon found themselves chatting about the list in instant messenger. Soon the chat turned to more personal chats every day. Eventually, Mitch confessed that he was falling in love with Susanne.
Next page: "I knew I should cut contact, but..."
