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Why midlife women shoplift

When a woman in midlife shoplifts, it usually signals one thing: depression

Updated:
2010-03-24 11:43
Published:
2008-04-28 00:00
By:
Valerie Mutton
shoplifting

“I had never broken the law before”

Linda Morrison* had been working for a major department store just short of seven years when she did something she’d never done before: During her night shift, she went to the women’s clothing department, picked up a pretty blouse, and put it in her car without paying for it.

“It was so stupid,” says Morrison. “I had never broken the law before.” She says a couple of hours before the incident, she’d actually helped to catch a man who had shoplifted a vacuum cleaner, and so knew about the security cameras.

Indeed, a surveillance camera caught everything on tape, and management confronted her when the store closed. She was immediately fired from her job and charged with theft. “They called the police, and they came and took a statement,” she remembers. “When I was escorted back to my car, my husband and son were there waiting. Seeing the look on their faces… Talk about dying a million times. My son was looking at me like I was Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He kept asking me why I did it.”

Questioning herself

Why had she done it? It was a question Morrison couldn’t answer. All she knew was that the past few years of her life had been very difficult. Did the answer lie there? “I had gone through two years of seeing my mom die of lung cancer. It was very slow and very painful,” Morrison says now. Additionally, she had been juggling her roles as a mother, wife and caregiver to her mom while working full-time.

After her mother’s death, Morrison took only three days off before going back to work. She struggled on for the next year, trying to maintain a normal life. In retrospect, she thinks she didn’t give herself enough time to grieve, and when new challenges came, she was overwhelmed. “The first anniversary of my mom’s death had just passed. Her birthday was coming up the next week and she was going to be 80. My son was off to university. It was just everything at once.” The result? She stole a blouse she didn’t need.

Morrison isn’t alone. On almost any given day in any criminal court, among gang members and contract murderers, you’ll find nicely dressed middle-aged women charged with theft under $5,000. In fact, when I was practising criminal law and a woman over 40 booked an appointment regarding a criminal charge, I knew it would be one of two things: impaired driving or shoplifting.

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Pagination Documents

Page 1:
“I had never broken the law before”
Page 2:
Midlife shoplifting
Page 3:
Triggering events

Comments

  • MuttonMakesMeSic's avatar MuttonMakesMeSic wrote:

    2008-12-18 4:58 AM

    The author concludes, in the most ignorant and patronizing manner possible, that jail was a "real" possibility. If she were a twenty year old black man, accused of the same crime, but lacking the videotaped proof, methinks the "possibility" of jail is just a tad more real. You people are so wrapped up in your own heads, that the notion that she stole the blouse for the same reason a teenager might, does not even enter into the discussion. She's a thief. Just like Wynona Ryder was a thief. Just like the young woman who shoplifts for the thrill is a thief. Get over yourselves, already. Whatever helps you sleep at night, I suppose. I wouldn't know, seeing as how it's 4:30 AM and I just got home from work And with Ottawa transit workers your own age on strike for even more money and benefits, I'll be waking up for school in about three and a half hours. I guess that's my fault for being in the generation that steals for trivial reasons unrelated to a five-digit tuition bill, monthly rents nearing four-digits, or books and school supplies totalling nearly four-digits. No, we young people steal because we aren't smart enough to fully comprehend the consequences. And you Boomers know this because of your firm grasp on what it means to live in the "real world". If your parents were the Greatest Generation, then how'd they all manage to raise such selfish, greedy, entitled kids?
  • oldmethuselah's avatar oldmethuselah wrote:

    2008-12-18 8:04 AM

    Probabilty that Mutton is male (or has an unusually low estrogen count)....90% This is NO reflection on Mutton at all, of course, because the response is perfectly logical (in an isolated "single box" sort of way), however, having worked for 7 years with abused women, THIS male has reason to believe that there are OTHER modes of reasoning that would make sense of the original post. BTW HAS that whole "damaged male brain" thing been disproved??? .. I honestly don't know, you know the one, about how female brains have more connections (which have been fried in the male brain by virtue of being bather in testosterone)... Can SOMEBODY confirm or deny
  • baseballnut's avatar baseballnut wrote:

    2008-12-18 8:53 AM

    I can relate. My mother was caught shoplifting when I was a teenager. My family was shocked and we had no idea why mom did this. However myself and my siblings all felt that it was related to the very hard life she had lived, she was verbally and emotionally abused by my father for years, and suffered several tradgedies, such as lost loved ones and parents (at a very young age). Around the time this happened my mother was going through menopause, and two of her children had just left home to go out on their own. My mother worked like a dog her whole life, and had no need to steal anything, we were not short of money. Before you judge please stop and think, you have no idea what someone is going through and why they would do something like this. All I can tell you is that my mother suffered in silence through a tragic life and I don't judge her for what happened, she is still my mother.
  • T_Symons's avatar T_Symons wrote:

    2008-12-18 9:08 AM

    MuttonMakesMeSic makes me sick. This particular young person seems to believe that writing on this subject and staying on topic is an ignorant act that belittles the sufferings of teens. I'm sure "Mutton" carefully considered his/her response before accusing the author of this article of ignorance. I mean, isn't it common knowledge that watching your mother in her death bed and having her pass away without a sense of closure is much less stressful than going to school and working a job at the same time? Call me ignorant because I have more sympathy for the thief in this case than the average working teen that goes to school. Speaking of going to school, Mutton, you must be going for the sole reason of bettering yourself. I'm sure someone like you would never go to school with the objective of educating yourself to qualify for some "cushy job" so you could afford to buy a "car to be picked up in" to go to the "big house with lots of closet space" you'd like to own. No, I'm sure someone unselfish, generous and humble like you has the aims of taking the bus, living in a hovel and doing manual labor until you retire. It's a pity that "Mutton" couldn't suppress the urge to turn his/her response into a pity request, with his/her description of the terrible hardships he/she is suffering. Well, you got your wish... I have great pity for anyone that thinks their personal lack of sleep is more important than organized labour practicing their right to strike.
  • LadyE's avatar LadyE wrote:

    2008-12-18 9:12 AM

    "MuttonMakesMeSic" makes Me Sick. I do not understand why this individual thinks that talking about middle aged women who shoplift is a bad thing. Teenagers have had their articles, and now we must allow middle aged women to have their time in the spotlight (albeit a very harsh, possibly extreme, spotlight). Perhaps you are unwilling or unable to accept that turn-taking is a lesson not only required for the under 5 age-group.
  • T_Symons's avatar T_Symons wrote:

    2008-12-18 9:13 AM

    Just for clarification, any use of the name "Mutton" in my response is not directed to the author, but to the individual so offended by the author. I'm sure anyone reading my responce would assume this much, but I'm picky about these things.
  • Mariposa1's avatar Mariposa1 wrote:

    2008-12-18 9:16 AM

    Being of that privileged, lazy, pathetic generation that Mutton trashes, I found this article very interesting, and certainly I think we can all relate to a lot of the deeply personal feelings that can lead anyone - regardless of age, financial status, "privilege" - to do something stupid. What truly terrifies me is to think that there are cold, miserable souls like MuttonMakesMeSic coming up behind us, and these lovely folks will eventually control our lives as we decline and they take power. Heaven help us!
  • T_Symons's avatar T_Symons wrote:

    2008-12-18 9:17 AM

    Just for clarification, any use of the name "Mutton" in my response is not directed to the author, but to the individual so offended by the author. I'm sure anyone reading my responce would assume this much, but I'm picky about these things.
  • strupy's avatar strupy wrote:

    2008-12-18 9:42 AM

    just a thought>>> perhaps Mutton makes me sick is overtired from the commute and dealing with the realities of life, perhaps lack of sleep has frustrated and crowded her/his judgement. Oh no, there I go again, helping to perpetuate a generation of "selfish, greedy, entitled kids?" by trying to understand a motive behind an act. Sorry its the parent in me. Perhaps after Mutton has had some sleep and looks back in retrospect, she will be a little less judgemental
  • eyeforget's avatar eyeforget wrote:

    2008-12-18 10:00 AM

    Mutton Make Me Sick-- agreed. There are definitely two sides to this story and I'm choosing to play devils advocate. Stealing is stealing. It doesn't matter why it's done, it's still the same. Everybody has had tragedies. Everybody has a story. Should that give everybody the excuse to shoplift? How can you tell me that you know this woman who steals is under more pressure than I? How does it make it o.k. --just because she's had a messy life? I'm checking out of this pity party.
  • Artemis's avatar Artemis wrote:

    2008-12-18 10:12 AM

    I do think the author kind of brushed off teens saying: "We all know why teens shoplift: the thrill, peer pressure, a sense of “entitlement” to the item, the inability to fully think through the consequences of their actions." Teens can face a lot of hardship that might push them to steal for the same reasons as the author wants us to believe older women do. Sure, they haven't likely had as many bad experiences in their life. But lets throw in an emotionally undeveloped teen who perhaps is sexually assaulted at home.... does she steal for the thrill? Maybe the peer pressure or her sense of "entitlement"? Lets not put all the teens into one category because we think our older generation has more hardship and problems that we could link to their theft.
  • Artemis's avatar Artemis wrote:

    2008-12-18 10:26 AM

    I do think the author kind of brushed off teens saying: "We all know why teens shoplift: the thrill, peer pressure, a sense of “entitlement” to the item, the inability to fully think through the consequences of their actions." Teens can face a lot of hardship that might push them to steal for the same reasons as the author wants us to believe older women do. Sure, they haven't likely had as many bad experiences in their life. But lets throw in an emotionally undeveloped teen who perhaps is sexually assaulted at home.... does she steal for the thrill? Maybe the peer pressure or her sense of "entitlement"? Lets not put all the teens into one category because we think our older generation has more hardship and problems that we could link to their theft.
  • T_Symons's avatar T_Symons wrote:

    2008-12-18 10:27 AM

    I'm agreed that stealing is stealing, and someone who does it must pay the consequences of their actions. That's how our legal system is set up, and I support that. But the purpose of this article wasn't to excuse the thefts. It's purpose was to show the possible reason behind them. Do you not think that it's important to know the reasons behind one's actions? These were just a few examples of people in their middle age who committed a first-time offence. It never states that this is the sole reason that middle age women shoplift. And while the author does gloss over the reasons teens will commit a theft, bear in mind that this article was not about them.
  • cforth's avatar cforth wrote:

    2008-12-18 11:11 AM

    I feel middle aged women have spent all their time & money on their families. But they get to a point that they feel they are entiled to something (they have earned it) but still can bring themselves to spend money on themselves. So they take it!
  • Ciara123's avatar Ciara123 wrote:

    2008-12-18 11:24 AM

    This is a subject which impacts me emotionally, as I was one of these women. It's like the scripture from the bible that says "He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone. It is not a predetermined thing to shoplift in most cases, and certainly your mind is not in the right place when this happens. There are stressors and depression and other factors that contribute to these shameful acts of crime. It had never occured to me that I would ever do anything this bad in my life and yet I found myself charged with this crime..yes justifiably. It's embarrasing and devastating and difficult to forget, even now, ten years later it is still fresh in my mind. I regret ever doing it, and can't understand all the reasons why still, but I know I needed help and didn't know where to turn for it. I'm a University grad, and not poor, but I'm not rich either. It was a mistake that I've paid for ever since it happened because I know it was wrong, and I'm not a bad person. I made a mistake! I have a wonderful family, great kids, but I was going through a very bad time when that happened and I still cannot fathom my stupidy in doing such a terrible thing. Don't condemn those who make mistakes, they are the ones who have to live with it and hopefully learn from it. I know I did! Great article, and it needed to be aired! Thank u Valerie.
  • lesh's avatar lesh wrote:

    2008-12-18 1:04 PM

    This article is so typical of how society ALWAYS tries to excuse the actions of woman, no matter how insane the action is. Woman demand equal rights, how about woman demanding equal accountability for their actions? We all live through tragedy at some point in are lives, but it’s our tragedy to live with, not everyone else’s. It’s not your parents, husbands, boyfriends or children’s fault, it’s yours!
  • lesh's avatar lesh wrote:

    2008-12-18 1:23 PM

    This article is so typical of how society ALWAYS tries to excuse the actions of woman, no matter how insane the action is. Woman demand equal rights, how about woman demanding equal accountability for their actions? We all live through tragedy at some point in are lives, but it’s our tragedy to live with, not everyone else’s. It’s not your parents, husbands, boyfriends or children’s fault, it’s yours!
  • Penytei's avatar Penytei wrote:

    2008-12-18 1:34 PM

    Most people committing crimes have some kind of unresolved issues that make them confused, depressed or have impared judgement for a period of time. Yes, it is considered a crime and under our justice system the most common punishment is prison. Sometimes obvious cases that have been tried can avoid time and these people can actually be helped by professionals. Would it be a revolutionary idea that these same professionals be a major part of the justice system and "criminals" could be helped and not left alone with their problems locked in a cell?! Everybody is unique so as their motives or unresolved issues that lead them to be reactive and impulsive. They can be abused teenagers, ones living in poverty or abandoned never actually learning how to resolve conflicts, living with mental disorders, you name it. We all need help once in a while. So let's give these souls what they need within the justice system.
  • Penytei's avatar Penytei wrote:

    2008-12-18 1:34 PM

    Most people committing crimes have some kind of unresolved issues that make them confused, depressed or have impared judgement for a period of time. Yes, it is considered a crime and under our justice system the most common punishment is prison. Sometimes obvious cases that have been tried can avoid time and these people can actually be helped by professionals. Would it be a revolutionary idea that these same professionals be a major part of the justice system and "criminals" could be helped and not left alone with their problems locked in a cell?! Everybody is unique so as their motives or unresolved issues that lead them to be reactive and impulsive. They can be abused teenagers, ones living in poverty or abandoned never actually learning how to resolve conflicts, living with mental disorders, you name it. We all need help once in a while. So let's give these souls what they need within the justice system.
  • Charlotte's avatar Charlotte wrote:

    2008-12-18 4:32 PM

    I think this article isn't about excusing anyone for their behaviour. Everyone interviewed for the piece pretty much said "I stole something, it was wrong, I should go to jail." It is wrong to steal, and there should be a punishment. But really, if many people are all engaging in the same behaviour, shouldn't we try and figure out why they are doing what they are doing? I don't think it's about entitlement, and I don't think this article was meant to excuse anyone for what they had done. This article was meant to expose a problem in society, and attempt to explain it so other women in similar circumstances can be aware that this is happening. It would be silly for people to go "Oh, a lot of midlife women are stealing, just throw them in jail." Just like with teens and shoplifting, there is a need to understand a behaviour if we are every going to be able to stop it from happening in the first place. I can understand that this is an emotional subject, but really, what's with all the bile and anger and hatred being spewed in the comments?!
  • kimchi's avatar kimchi wrote:

    2008-12-18 4:39 PM

    Midlife women who commit crimes, like stealing, are just as guilty as those "gang members and contract murderers" or teens who do it for " the thrill, peer pressure..etc". They should not be looked at differently, because they all have there different reasons. The person who wrote this seems to make a special case for midlife women. She's wrong for subtley justifying the actions of a midlife women shoplifter.
  • thirteenth's avatar thirteenth wrote:

    2008-12-18 6:16 PM

    I'm offended as a male reader and ex shoplifter. An man shoplifts and hes a thief but a woman shoplifts because the poor thing has issues. We all have baggage. There is no excuse for stealing and any responsible adult knows what they are doing regardless of emotionnal distress. Whats next? This article is based on nothing really and is far from being fact as far as i see it.
  • thirteenth's avatar thirteenth wrote:

    2008-12-18 6:25 PM

    I'm offended as a male reader and ex shoplifter. An man shoplifts and hes a thief but a woman shoplifts because the poor thing has issues. We all have baggage. There is no excuse for stealing and any responsible adult knows what they are doing regardless of emotionnal distress. Whats next? This article is based on nothing really and is far from being fact as far as i see it.
  • thirteenth's avatar thirteenth wrote:

    2008-12-18 6:29 PM

    I'm offended as a male reader and ex shoplifter. An man shoplifts and hes a thief but a woman shoplifts because the poor thing has issues. We all have baggage. There is no excuse for stealing and any responsible adult knows what they are doing regardless of emotionnal distress. Whats next? This article is based on nothing really and is far from being fact as far as i see it.
  • itsthetruth's avatar itsthetruth wrote:

    2008-12-18 6:42 PM

    I will tell you why she stole. Its because she was born and not delivered by a stork. Wanna hear one justification for when a man steals. Its to satify a woman's needs.Yes its true and you know it.no, no ,no i am not a woman hater. I love women, just tired of them finding justification in their wrong doings and condemming men for frivolous matters.
  • itsthetruth's avatar itsthetruth wrote:

    2008-12-18 6:47 PM

    Maybe if i steal that nice dress for my wife, some women will justify my action. She really needs a new one for christmas and money is tight
  • housey's avatar housey wrote:

    2008-12-18 7:31 PM

    There is not an age or generation attached to theft, we are all quite capable of this act and yes there is usually a good reason for this. Stress, depression,desire to ,greed and some reasons mentioned above contribute to this sickness just as some people become alcoholics, drug addicts ,commit adultry, in the end you wonder what went wrong and am I the only dummy doing this ? "NO" So get help before it gets worse don't keep it inside, change your life before it changes you.
  • woman's avatar woman wrote:

    2008-12-18 8:17 PM

    Thanks housey- I'm getting really tired of this touchy feely escapist sort of justification for everything wrong in society! According to what I experienced in my younger years, I should be a serial killer, and by the looks of things, with a few tears and expensive council, I probably could get away with it, or at very most have 30 hours of community service to complete. I'm glad I was taught accountability. It wasn't easy to work through everything, however, I'm glad I didn't chose to justify more wrongdoing because of the wrong (or just sad) things I encountered. Except for a very few, it is a choice. The key word again, people, is accountability.
  • Poney's avatar Poney wrote:

    2008-12-18 8:25 PM

    If people never commited crimes such as these..how could cops and lawyer's justify ther existence?..we cant exist in a perfect world..look at our history, keep my hands in my pockets..wipe my nose is all I can do. If you want to solve humanitys problems you can do that in your next life!..Carry on crazzy humans!
  • Vampiregirl's avatar Vampiregirl wrote:

    2008-12-18 8:28 PM

    I used to be a shoplifter myself. The reasons I did was poverty. I am still living in poverty but have learned that stealing is wrong. I got caught when I was 15 yrs old, and intentionally got caught, as I was being sexually abused by my step father and needed an out let to get this information out. My step father was in the process of drugging my mother so badly, she was on the verge of her death bed, and I had to do something so I stole to get attention I needed. Now the police chose not to listen to me, and I had to find another way to get it out. But those are the reasons I did what I did. I was not going to allow poverty to claim the life of my daughter so I stole food for her to eat, diapers and clothes for her to wear. And I stole to save my mothers life and that of my sisters. I am not proud of myself but I did what I did. I am not condemming or condoning this act of thievery, but sometimes people have to survive
  • Vampiregirl's avatar Vampiregirl wrote:

    2008-12-18 8:33 PM

    I used to be a shoplifter myself. The reasons I did was poverty. I am still living in poverty but have learned that stealing is wrong. I got caught when I was 15 yrs old, and intentionally got caught, as I was being sexually abused by my step father and needed an out let to get this information out. My step father was in the process of drugging my mother so badly, she was on the verge of her death bed, and I had to do something so I stole to get attention I needed. Now the police chose not to listen to me, and I had to find another way to get it out. But those are the reasons I did what I did. I was not going to allow poverty to claim the life of my daughter so I stole food for her to eat, diapers and clothes for her to wear. And I stole to save my mothers life and that of my sisters. I am not proud of myself but I did what I did. I am not condemming or condoning this act of thievery, but sometimes people have to survive
  • Poney's avatar Poney wrote:

    2008-12-18 8:39 PM

    If people never commited crimes such as these..how could cops and lawyer's justify ther existence?..we cant exist in a perfect world..look at our history, keep my hands in my pockets..wipe my nose is all I can do. If you want to solve humanitys problems you can do that in your next life!..Carry on crazzy humans!
  • woman's avatar woman wrote:

    2008-12-18 10:39 PM

    Oh Poney, either you are a lawyer or you are just ignorant. Please keep your hands in your pockets after you wipe your nose... there are enough viruses going around! Get a backbone today, you only get one round down here.
  • thirteenth's avatar thirteenth wrote:

    2008-12-18 11:30 PM

    Its not about reasons to steal. Its definitely not about women having more of a reason to steal then men caus that would just be sexist and wrong! Its about getting help! Counselling, therapy, talking to someone trustworthy. Steeling because you feel stressed or depressed is as dumb as cheating on your husband to get back at him caus he did it first! Wake up people! Anyways this article is ridiculous and reflects what is wrong with how people think.
  • oldmethuselah's avatar oldmethuselah wrote:

    2008-12-20 6:30 AM

    Reasons to steal (food, clothes, shareholders money etc. etc.) : a) to feed my starving family b) to win a dare c) to impress my girlfriend or boyfriend d) to avoid being beaten by my handler e) to fatten my personal bank account f) because people trust me and I can g) to feed my drug habit h) etc. etc. What amazes me about the "generalized" nature of some respondees, is the willingness to lump ALL kinds of theft together. I did a survey in my class about "capital punishment" and, at first, only child killers and rapists were deemed "worthy" of such a treatment, but when it was explained that cultured Nestle executives instituted a program called "milk mothers" which systematically took away third world mothers' ability to feed their own children breast milk, and made them dependent on Nestle formula which they could not afford, and which (consequently watered down) lead to the deaths of THOUSANDS of infants, the students came to the conclusion "HANG EM HIGH!" Look, there IS a difference between one kind of "theft" and another, only those living in a safe secure world have the luxury of saying "theft is theft is theft"
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