Suburban housewife turned Buddhist nun

Pema Chödrön is ruthless—and funny.

It's an odd combination, particularly for a world-famous spiritual leader, but then Chödrön is not your typical God peddler. In fact, the principal teacher of the Gampo Abbey monastery on Cape Breton Island, N.S., doesn't talk about God much. When she does, she's likely to urge worshippers to give up their cosmic babysitter.

Did we mention ruthless?

Chödrön has been teaching Buddhist meditation techniques in Canada and the United States for about three decades. In recent years, her personal fame and influence have come to eclipse that of her original teacher. She is now a bona fide celebrity—a favourite of Oprah Winfrey and the subject of an hour-long Bill Moyers special on PBS. Her books have sold 1.5 million copies worldwide.

Ask a devotee why she's drawn to Chödrön, and you are likely to get such frustratingly vague answers as, "She awakens the compassion inside" or, as South Africa's Jennifer Woodhull puts it, "She tells the truth about what it takes to live sanely and reduce your suffering in everyday life."

More spoke with Chödrön followers in the United Kingdom, Australia, Sweden, the Netherlands, Canada, the U.S., Iceland, Japan, Mexico, South Africa and Iran.

The unifying theme in more than 40 interviews was Chödrön's compassion, how the former suburban housewife turned Buddhist nun radiates gentle kindness for the shortcomings and weaknesses of others.

Dedication to the truth, even when it's unbearable

Compassion is a necessary foundation, since what she demands is so darn hard: Abandon hope, give up fear, let go of all attachment.

Chödrön's message is neither new nor novel. The spiritual practices she advocates were developed more than 1,000 years ago in Tibet. Tibetan Buddhism isn't a prescription for happiness or wealth. It is not a bromide that exalts the power of the will—à la The Secret—but a complex belief system that requires a rigorous dedication to truth, even when that truth is close to unbearable. "Thinking that we can find some lasting pleasure and avoid pain is...a hopeless cycle that goes round and round endlessly and causes us to suffer greatly," Chödrön writes in her bestselling treatise When Things Fall Apart.

Instead of praying for bad times/things/people to go away, Chödrön counsels leaning into discomfort and following pain—even if the pain is simply looking at your own shortcomings, learning to recognize them without judgment and moving on.

This is the ruthless part. Chödrön's Buddhism requires one to live with eyes wide open all the time. No fudging, no nudging, no lying to yourself even a tiny bit, not even once in a while. Tibetan monks dedicate their lives to perfecting this stuff; Chödrön's followers try to do it while also staying on top of the laundry, paying bills and remembering to take the car in for service.