Give yourself permission to say no
Women tend to be pleasers; turning down requests doesn’t come easily. However, with experience comes the ability to recognize when walking away is the best option. Meet three women who gave themselves permission to say no to a career choice.
Work full-time?
No thanks!
“We had money, but no time.”
That’s Rose Taylor’s assessment of her 20-year career as a human resources professional with the Alberta government. Although successful, she and her husband, Phil, a corporate banker, felt like hamsters on a wheel — too many rushed meals, missed opportunities to exercise and a neglected garden. Then she got downsized.
Taylor, 53 on May 7 decided it was a perfect time to take stock. She made a pros and cons list on scaling back, setting up her own business, and working part-time. She knew the risks were considerable: She’d lose her professional identity; colleagues would think she was less committed to her business; she’d find it impossible to stay connected. And, of course, there was the diminished paycheque.
Yet Taylor felt the pros outweighed the cons. She decided to narrow her focus and specialize in the area of HR in which she’d gained the most expertise during her full time career; she built on her expertise in this niche by taking professional development courses. She also ran the numbers many times before deciding she could manage financially.
Today, Taylor is able to spend more time at her country retreat in Invermere, B.C. where she’s also chair of the rural community association. About her life now, she says, “I am able to savour my work and my home life. It has paid off on all fronts.”
What if it were you?
According to career guru Barbara Moses, midlife is typically when women begin to reassess. At this stage, they often discover that who they are and what they do may no longer be the same thing. Working differently could be about fleeing the corporate culture or wanting to be in a self-created environment where you can be concerned more with people and values than with profit, says Moses, author of Dish: Midlife Women Tell the Truth about Work, Relationships and the Rest of Life. “Drill down,” she advises. “Determine what it is you really want to do and why.” Do you want more flexibility, more free time, to be in charge of what you do and when you do it? Do you have what it takes to say “no” to working on Fridays? Are you disciplined enough to give 110 per cent when you are working three days a week? “Know what drives you, then understand some of the challenges,” she adds.
Pick up that extra shift?
No thanks!
It had been a particularly stressful week in Kim Ostermann’s life.“I was helping someone die,” recalls the registered nurse, who is 48 and lives on a farm near Acme, Alta. A family member was dying of ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) in Carstaris and Ostermann had been visiting daily — driving 30 kilometres each way — to provide professional and emotional support to the family during the final days. Meanwhile, she was juggling the needs of four busy children, plus two visiting nephews.
Ostermann had that time and energy to devote to her family because she hasn’t taken an overtime shift since she started working in the emergency room of Calgary’s Peter Lougheed Centre a decade ago. In fact, she says she’s one of the few nurses she knows who works in the ER but is not available for overtime shifts.
