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Speed dating for cougars

In the first of a mini-series on dating at 50, our own Avra Goldenblatt tries out the ToyBoy Speed Dating Event. So is it love – or lust – at first sight?

Updated:
2010-03-25 10:42
Published:
2009-08-08 11:47
By:
Avra Goldenblatt
speed dating

Trolling for ToyBoys

Okay. I am just going to say it. I’m 50 and I’m single. And, I’ve just come home from a ToyBoy Speed Dating Event. How did this happen? 

For the first few months after my birthday I couldn’t even get the words “I’m 50” out of my mouth without my eyes filling with tears and my head running the same mantra over and over: I am going to be alone forever. 

(No worries... see I complete me.)

This was ridiculous! I never thought I was old, and I always had people telling me how young I looked for my age. But somehow, being 50 and single was making me feel strange and different. It was starting to change how I was living my life.

When someone at my office asked me if I would attend a speed dating event, I surprised myself when I said “Yes!”

The next thing I knew, I received an email invitation to a ToyBoy Speed Dating Event organized by Fastlife.ca, an international company with events in almost every city in Canada, as well as the US, Australia and Europe. Their website seemed pretty slick and their events were quite varied… everything from Beer Tasting Speed Dating to Tall Men Speed Dating (that one gave me a chuckle!)  But I was set up for their ToyBoy Event, listed on their website as “Here’s to You, Mrs. Robinson!” What had I done?

What to say to Gen Y?

As the days got closer to my big night out, I worried what I would say to a twenty-something young man. Never mind that, could I make it through the twelve separate eight-minute dates? Yikes! This was sounding more like a job than a night out! 

I began to think about what I really wanted in a man.  Could washboard abs be enough to keep me interested? Would these guys need some serious brainpower in order to get me hot and bothered…or would a nice set of arms and that smell of youth be enough?

More importantly, what to wear?

The night of the event I was in a panic. What to wear? I had lots of great clothes, but what would work in this situation? Sexy schoolmarm, "Ivana Eurotrash", or jeans and a t-shirt? I called one of my best friends who told me to wear jeans and a pretty pink top I have that shows just enough cleavage to be somewhat sexy and show lots of arm— one of my better assets.

She went on to say: “Have two drinks before you walk in, make sure your lipstick is glossy, not matte, and try not to bring the hardnosed ‘work Avra’ to the event. Just leave her at home. Pretend you’re a Jewish Catherine Zeta Jones!”  I just laughed and downed the first drink.

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Pagination Documents

Page 1:
Trolling for ToyBoys
Page 2:
Speed dating: All about the 'yes' and 'no'
Page 3:
Or maybe, speed dating is about the sex?

Comments

  • alone_52's avatar alone_52 wrote:

    2009-09-04 9:21 PM

    I've been single and really out of the dating scene that long. Why is it that older women "are" attracted to younger men? I know I am, and it makes my 33 yr old daughter crazy (insane actually), that I actually go for those just a bit older than her. I can't help it that I do find them more attractive. I'd like to think that I'd like to settle down with someone my own age but it seems that they want the "younger" ones, or, they just want sex. (Well.. so do alot of the younger ones I suppose.) And why do we get called "cougars"? Don't older men who prefer younger women have a title? I hate the fact that I'm labelled a "cougar". I'm very shy, and have been diagnosed with "social anxiety" so how do "I" go about meeting someone? Any thoughts or ideas are most welcome and will be considered. :)
  • alone_52's avatar alone_52 wrote:

    2009-09-04 9:26 PM

    Ammendment to the last comment I wrote. I have been single/divorced for 15 yrs now. I did attempt to get to know a couple of guys, one was extremely pushy (aggresive) for sex (he was closer to my age)and the other (10yrs my junior, was extremely controling). Needless to say they didn't last long and the first one didn't get past 5 mins of my time. There is one other whom I'm extremely taken with, he's 3 yrs older than my daughter but not interested in the same way that I am. :(
  • sherrill's avatar sherrill wrote:

    2009-10-18 5:51 PM

    I am 51 years young and have been alone since I was 40 for reasons I wont get into. But today I so very much would like to date but know one ever ask me. Now please believe me when I say I am not conceited but I know I am a very attractive woman with a great body, I think anyway and always told. But the thing of it is when I do get asked out it is always by a younger man in his early thirties or younger even. I have no interest in young men, I want an older man 50's / 60's and knows his way around.
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