Reclaiming your home decor after divorce
It was a dream-like experience. Upon returning from a weekend away with our children, the bedroom closets were empty—my husband, now my ex, had moved out. He took the fabulous living room furniture that we had purchased not that long ago. My world was changing.
The reality was, I wanted to stop thinking about who I had become upon divorce—a single woman—and focus on my surroundings. I wanted my home to change from our home to my home.
I wanted to shape my space to reflect my personality. I wanted to transform it into a space where I would be happy. Slowly, this philosophy would influence the décor throughout my home.
Of course, like most of the things I was dealing with, this was uncharted territory—especially learning to deal with my new budget. The first project I wanted to tackle was my new bedroom. The room which we shared, which was ours, was now mine. As I gloriously celebrated more closet space, I needed to create a room which would provide new memoires of the next chapter of my life. I fantasized about my new seductive boudoir, strewn with rose pedals and candlelight everywhere.
But the truth was, that wasn’t me. Reality set in and I did what I could—cost effectively, changing only my sheets, drapery and mattress. It was a fresh start.
Comfort for the kids as well
I also needed to keep in mind that my children needed continuity. Even if I could afford it (which I couldn’t), I wasn’t going to change everything. After all, what message would that be sending to my children—erasing all memories of their life before the divorce? Letting my personality shine through as best I could, spending as little I could, I would decorate for myself, not anyone else. I bought some new artwork, throw pillows for my family room sofa and a few knick-knacks here and there.
Kimberly Seldon, an internationally recognized designer, suggests: “When you experience a crisis it’s essential to take time to heal before embarking on new projects. I’ve met new clients who immediately want to redesign the whole house. It may feel good to “erase” any trace of him, but you want to make sure you are in a sane and peaceful frame of mind before you start renovating or decorating."
"You don’t want to make every decision with him in mind. For example, he hated leather so you will “show him” and put leather everywhere. That may not be what you really want. Once you are emotionally ready to heal and move on, then decorating can be an empowering process; reclaiming your own space and your own look.”
Get Seldon's top five tips for reclaiming your house after divorce
