Do most men have a midlife crisis?
Ah, the male midlife crisis—the subject of weighty movies like American Beauty and light hearted comedies like City Slickers. Here's what you should understand about it.
The phrase "midlife crisis" was first coined by a Canadian, psychologist Elliot Jaques, in his 1965 article "Death and the Midlife Crisis" for the International Journal of Psychoanalysis. He used the phrase to refer to a time when adults realize their own mortality and how much time they may have left in their lives.
However, research conducted more recently suggests the midlife crisis as a function of age is a myth. Researcher David Almeida, professor of human development and family studies at Penn State University, comments in an article on the university's website: "Research suggests the midlife crisis is largely a myth," Almeida explains. "Very few people report having some definable crisis that's due to their age."
Even so, many men—some of our husbands included—seem to, well, freak out at midlife? Stress, coping with deaths in the family, and perhaps our own society's attitude towards aging have all been fingered as the cause. One of my own friends considers it a virus men catch from each other (I'd like to see the research on that one!)
What you should know
Whether the midlife crisis is a formal diagnostic category or a shorthand for a transition more related to stress, when your partner experiences this kind of existential questioning it can rock your world. He may display the following symptoms:
- Boredom and exhaustion, or frantic energy
- Self-questioning
- Daydreaming
- Irritability, unexpected anger
- Acting on alcohol, drug, food or other compulsions
- Greatly decreased or increased sexual desire
- Sexual affairs, especially with someone much younger
- Greatly decreased or increased ambition
Obviously some of these are more liveable than others. Here are five things to consider if your partner seems to be in the throes of this kind of transition:
