What to do when a girlfriend dumps you

"In female friendship, the romanticized notion that best friends are forever is a myth," says Irene S Levin, PhD, author of Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend. Being ditched by a close girlfriend can be incredibly painful, especially when you had no idea you were going to be dumped. Here's how to navigate this difficult situation:

Put the breaks on your reaction

First off, step back and really think things through, because reacting out of anger or hurt could make the situation even worse. "Allow yourself the time you need to think clearly," says Levin, "however, don't let too much time elapse before you speak, especially if you know you did something wrong, because negative feelings and thoughts can become entrenched."

One of the most important things to consider is whether you actually want to salvage this friendship. "Use this as an opportunity for assessment. Are you just hurt because your once-friend dumped you or because it is truly a friendship that you valued?" says Levin.

If you want to save the friendship

You'll need to summon up the courage to talk and be the one to extend the olive branch. Until you do talk, you have no idea of what is really going on. Levin says that women often fall into the trap of assuming that they know what their friend is thinking, although that may be completely erroneous.

Be prepared to accept responsibility if you did do something wrong. "You may have disappointed your friend or betrayed her trust. Whatever the case, don't be too stubborn to be the first to apologize or forgive. Admitting your own blame may open the door for her to assume her share of responsibility for the misunderstanding," says Levin.

If however, your ex-friend is not interested in trying to fix what went wrong, you need to respect the boundaries they have set. "If you've apologized, begged, and groveled at her feet for closure, you eventually have to let go," says Levin, "It may have less to do with you than with other things going on in her life. Or the timing just may not be right for the two of you. Sometimes, you need to achieve closure on our own and decide to move on."

So how can you get over the loss?