Planning hints
Planning too much…or not enough
While we tend to think bad parties are the result of poor planning – and Max doesn’t deny underplanning can be a problem – it’s also possible to overplan.
“People tend to go really overboard,” Max says. “They tend to spend too much; they tend to plan too extensively. They make 10 desserts instead of just having an apple pie.”
Max cites the example of one woman whose pleasure at having her family over for Christmas dinner quickly turned to stress and anxiety as each family member in turn requested his or her own personal favourite dish.
“She said, ‘I love doing Christmas, I love cooking but everybody’s got a favourite,’” Max says. “So I said to her ‘Why? You’re doing this why?’ She’s going into the task already stressed out and not enjoying herself when she really should be.”
To make sure you’re planning what you should, Max recommends doing a walk-through in advance, imagining you’re a guest and deciding which details are vital (where do I put my coat? Can I move easily around the buffet table?) and which are not (having the house spotlessly clean).
“I had an aunt who used to come in with white gloves – she was a real witch – and she used to take her finger and push it under the mantel,” Max says. “Well, we’re past those days. A lot of us feel it has to be spic and span; well you know what? It doesn’t. You should save that till after because it’s a real mess after.”
Behind the Scenes
A holiday party can be doomed before it even gets started by the state of mind of the hostess, Max says.
Max recalls her own mother’s tension spreading to the rest of the family on the day of a party. “I remember my mother telling my father: ‘You take your shower at six in the morning because after seven I’m washing the bathroom and the towels are going to be fresh and you’re not allowed in there.’”
Max’s main message? Communicate. As a bonus, if you tell people what you need to get done they might actually be able to help you!
