Our turn to parent
When Barbara Dunn's father was diagnosed with early stage Alzheimer's disease, she shared her struggles with her co-worker, Linda Scott. Through their discussions, Linda realized that she, too, was embarking on the process of becoming a caregiver for her active 76-year-old mother.
Together the women created the book Our Turn to Parent to function as a source of information for Canadians struggling with caregiving issues, as well as a road map to plan for aging issues ahead. It touches on many of the most common caregiving dilemmas: from deciding to step in to dealing with end-of-life issues.
There is also an emphasis on the changing relationship between child and parent, with a strong emphasis on supporting the aging parent in his or her decisions to preserve dignity, as well as keep that person safe.
Our Turn to Parent functions as a solid how-to book, with checklists and step-by-step guides for different caregiving issues and stages of care, and a directory of national and provinces resources at the back.
But it also has a community feel, relating stories from fellow Canadians who have had to take on caregiving roles. These stories in particular raise topics and issues that don't always get as much attention: the way that men within families perform caregiving activities; how to choose a walker; and many others. There is a sense of connection and even humour that keeps the book engaging and real.
I had the pleasure of speaking with authors Barbara Dunn and Linda Scott the day their book launched.
Tell me why you wrote the book
Barbara: About three years ago, my dad was diagnosed with early stage Alzheimer's and my family had to come together and decide what we were going to do, and at the same time I started talking to Linda… and she was realizing that her mum might need some care later too. We started saying there should be a book about this. And the next thing you know, here it is: practical information, personal stories, and Canadian resources.
Linda: My mum was an active 76 year old… I realized for myself that I didn't know where in my community to go…. I realized that my mum was 76 and I didn't have a clue. I just didn't. Through working on the book, I realized that I had started to do some caregiving for my mum without realizing it… running errands and that kind of thing. I actually was already caregiving and hadn't identified myself in that role yet.
That's one of the things I took from the book: That caregiving is really a continuum and you can start to take on that role without really realizing you're starting.
Barbara: We're all busy running around and doing our jobs and then suddenly people find themselves in the middle of it…. Another thing is that your parents aren't necessarily going to tell you if something's wrong. My parents anyway don't tell everyone everything; they're not on Twitter and Facebook sharing everything that they do…. Starting those conversations early will help you down the line when you need even more to be involved.
