Meet our life coach » Lauren Jawno

You are right; there are a lot of challenging things happening around us at the moment. You need to logically consider how these things are impacting your day to day life and if there is anything you can do to change them. If there is nothing that you can do to change them then worrying about them and focusing on them is not going to benefit you in anyway. Remember, what you focus on expands so if you are focusing on negative things then that is what you are going to experience. You need to change where your attention is. Look at what is going well in your life, think about the things you should be grateful for, think about the things that make you  happy – literally spend a couple of minutes flooding your mind with positive, happy memories and experiences.  This could be a great way to start each day and it will change your outlook, your energy and how you approach each day. Dwelling on things you have no control over is self-defeating. Understand that for every thought there is behavior, ultimately impacting your state of health on all levels and only you can control those thoughts and change what you focus on. Try the above strategy as often as you need to and you will create a shift in your outlook on life.

What a wonderful situation to be in. I would suggest you take some time and sit down and brainstorm everything you think you would want to do. Write down things as they come into your mind without screening or giving too much thought to the ideas. Once you have done this create two lists: “Immediate and no resources required” and “Long term and resources required”. Then split what you have on your original list into these two categories. The first list could be things like tidy cupboards in kitchen, sort out clothes, manicure etc. etc. The second list could be things like learning a new skill, taking a class, planning a trip. Then rate the items on each of these lists from most important to least important and start working away! Have fun and enjoy the process and the time you have to finally devote to yourself. Good luck!

This is a great question and something that many people, including myself, have experienced. The most important thing to realize is that people who are happy and confident do not put other people down. When people put you down, what you are experiencing are their issues, their insecurities and how they feel about themselves. It rarely has anything to do with you at all. Knowing this is key to helping you detach yourself from their negative comments so you don’t feel bad about yourself. It can be hard, but remember the person making the comments wants you to feel bad about yourself which will make them feel better about them self. You have to decide not to give them that power. Don’t give them the reaction that they want. (And if comments like this really bother you, you should look inside yourself and see why you’re so troubled by it – perhaps you need to work on some issues that you have been hiding from.) Your reaction should teach you a lot about yourself so be open to personal growth in these situations. It is so important not to sink to that person’s level by retaliating. It is best to respond with comments like: “thank you for your opinion” or “thank you, you may be right”. Also be careful that you are not interpreting a comment as a put down when none was intended. This often happens because that’s what you’re expecting or because you’ve got an internal story happening and you see what you want to believe. So, ask yourself if you’re really reading the situation just as it is, or have you added your own “story”/meaning to it based on your past experiences. If you have, you need to work on changing your own stories. In conclusion, realize that put downs are never pleasant to deal with but if you can use them to your advantage, to grow as a person, then that’s the best solution of all. Good luck!

It is important to set boundaries and know what you can take on and what you cannot. People will always ask, that does not mean they always expect that you can help out. It is important to be polite and always explain why you cannot help with something – remind others that you have deadlines/commitments etc. yourself that you are struggling to meet. Show empathy and understanding to their circumstances and pressure. If you have always been a yes person, then expect that people will be taken aback when that pattern changes. You need to be firm in your response and realize that any animosity you may experience is generally the other person’s issues and not a reflection on you.

Firstly, you need to take an honest look at how you are currently spending your time. Clients often say that they just don’t have any time for themselves but then on closer examination it becomes apparent that they are spending a lot of time watching TV, on the internet, chatting on the telephone etc or not being productive in the time that they are allocating to essential tasks. Time management is critical – you need to see where you can do things more efficiently, where you cut back on time spent doing certain things, where you can delegate etc. and then you need to SCHEDULE time for yourself each day. If you do not make YOU a priority, no-one else will and that time will never be available. Unfortunately we often feel guilty doing this but it is so essential for your mental and physical health. Not only will you benefit from this time but so will the people around you.

The best program is one that you are going to be able to incorporate into your lifestyle and that you are going to enjoy. That is why I believe it is critical to work with someone who will honestly take a personalized approach to your needs and design a program that will work for you and your lifestyle. In terms of diet it needs to incorporate most of the foods you enjoy, it needs to work with your schedule of whether you are eating most meals at home or out, what your personality is like in terms of dealing with cheat meals etc. Your exercise program needs to take the same things into consideration – what do you enjoy doing, what is convenient for you to do, what will work within the time you have available etc. If these types of issues are not addressed it will be very difficult to sustain any changes you try and make.

It is not every day we are faced with the opportunity to live our passion. So one of the most important questions you need to ask yourself is this: “If nothing else in life were a factor, what would I love to do?” Then, you need to assess whether this is the right time in your life for you to undertake a new venture. Making major changes in your life provides you with new challenges and the opportunity to learn and grow. You need to decide if you are ready and able to deal with the unknown. Interview people who are currently doing what you would like to do so that you can find out all the positives and negatives and probably issues you never even thought existed. Volunteering will also provide you with great insight. You will be able to make a clearer more informed decision if you have done your due diligence. Depending on your circumstances it may be wise to go into a new venture on a part-time basis. This will give you the opportunity to see if it is truly what you expected and if you really love it. Above all, think carefully, weigh your options carefully and don’t be afraid to live it passionately!

Often when a client is experiencing depression and is in a rut in their lives, balance within their body is off. This will affect how they experience both their physical and emotional energy. When imbalance is happening, our responses also become imbalanced and out of sync. There is no enthusiasm or interest in participating in activities in the same way you had in the past. So after overall wellbeing has been assessed and treated the client needs to find something they are passionate and excited about, something that will make them feel alive again. It is important to remember that we will continue to live in the rut until we choose at some point to take a different action, or walk down a different street. Although this may not be easy, it has to be done. I suggest finding a professional who can help and guide you in this process.