Week by week plan: Five to seven
Week Five — Follow the thread of excitement
“It’s amazing how many clients at midlife can’t even tell me what they like or what excites them anymore,” Goldhar say. “They’ve spent so much time focusing on everyone else’s needs, they’ve forgotten their own.” When it comes to choosing a hobby or considering a new career, take a step-by-step approach. Research the choices available (through an online job board or community-center calendar) and then pick one or two things that make you feel most excited. “Instead of trying to make permanent decisions right away, get in the habit of choosing activities based on how they make you feel.”
Week Six — Ask for what you need
“Asking to be pleasured sexually is a loving thing to do for yourself,” says Goldhar. “But it’s something not all women feel comfortable doing.” No matter how old you are or how long you’ve been in your relationship, there is no better time to start honouring your own needs and desires. “There are many supportive and informative books out there, which is often the best place to start,” Goldhar advises. “Then, sit down with your partner (with a glass or wine, or even a shot of tequila) and have this very important conversation, which may prove to be relationship-changing.”
Week Seven — Learn to say “No”
“Being selfish is a good thing,” says Goldhar, “despite what you may have been taught.” Saying “No” is your right, and the more you practice, the easier it will become. There are some things we don’t have the luxury to say no to, so when the choice is yours, honour how you’re feeling rather than pushing yourself because of obligation.
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