How to look good naked
Earlier this year, I met a woman who weighed quite a bit more than I do. We started talking about her newfound freedom post-divorce. "I don't want to make you feel bad, but guys really like big women." She then reeled off a list of men and their ages with whom she'd been intimate.
Her confidence was amazing and it was then I realized instead of trying to lose that five pounds that makes me feel fat in the bedroom I wanted to gain about 50 pounds of her confidence.
Get comfortable in your own skin
Ottawa sex and relationship therapist Sue McGarvie (www.sexwithsue.com) says embracing your body is vital to good lovemaking. The best way to accomplish that is by taking it all off around other people—not just your partner.
"Find a family-friendly place where you can be naked and do it. I have stretch marks and scars on my body but when I went to a nude beach and saw other people I started to feel a lot more comfortable." You'll discover you're likely judging yourself too harshly.
Workshops, DVDs and books
Stores like Toronto's Good for Her (www.goodforher.com) offer workshops like Discover Your Erotic Self and Stripping, Lap Dancing and Sexual Seduction. Owner Carlyle Jansen says, "These teach you how to use your body to your advantage.
As well, if you develop more skill in the bedroom as a lover you're going to have more confidence and won't be worried about how you look." Sex toy, book and DVD store Come As You Are (www.comeasyouare.com) features workshops like Find Your Sexy Confidence and Taking It Off with Confidence—which tackle appreciating your body. (For how to flirt, see our Flirting 101 article!)
There are also a number of books written on the subject—How to Look Good Naked by Gok Wan, The Stripper's Guide to Looking Great Naked by Jennifer Axen and Leigh Phillips and Feel Good Naked by Laure Redmond. Maybe take in a viewing of Voluptuous Biker Babes or Voluptuous Life, which feature larger women who feel good about themselves.
