Apparently, the Monday after Mother’s Day is one of the two days on which the most women sign up to the infidelity-facilitating site Ashley Madison: In 2010, a year where most days the site saw 2,000-3,000 women sign up, over 31,000 did on that day.
Let’s hope most of them were window-browsing.
Now look, I get how a single day can come to symbolize everything wrong with family life. The Christmas after I had my eldest son I told my husband, who had not quite managed to get me a gift before Boxing Day the year before (there were extenuating circumstances) that if he blew it, as ridiculous as I knew I sounded about it, I was going to be really, really upset.
It wasn’t about the gift. It was about the sea change in our marriage from being about “us” to being about “who gets up with the baby this round of teething?” And to be frank it was also about my body having taken the brunt of the childbearing, my career having taken the brunt of the maternity leave – and just needing to know that he would come through for me on this one particular day.
But women, from one who has been there: Please, let’s not let holidays take over our thinking. When tens of thousands of women are extracting revenge – for what, lack of an overcrowded brunch? – by joining a site promoting infidelity, something’s gone awry.
I propose a simple solution. If there is a Mother’s Day event or gift that you want, let your spouse know. Don’t assume he knows. Yes, he should by now. If he fails to follow through, let him know how serious an issue it is – don’t go cruising online for a replacement.
Of course you could just send him a link to our last-minute Mother’s Day gift guide. (By the way, you could win all those gifts – click through the slideshow to enter!)