Blogs on More

Most of us believe Mom’s life is worthy of a book, don’t we? Or at least a novella. How many of us though, would have the gumption to tackle writing that book ourselves?

Not a fawning portrait, but a real, difficult, fair book about what Mom is really like. After you dig past “Best Mom in the World” and “The Glue that Holds the Family Together,” would you have the gall to really expose not only the height of her courage, but also her darkest flaws to the book-reading world?

Alexandra Fuller does, and that’s what makes Cocktail Hour Under the Tree of Forgetfulness (which is reviewed briefly in More’s October issue, inspiring me to snap one up as soon as I could) the most riveting, beautiful book I’ve read all year. I actually read this sentence four times because I thought it was so gorgeous:

“When I was a child, Mum presented Kenya [where she was raised] as a place of such forbidding perfection that its flawlessness shattered in the telling and what I was left holding on to were shards of equatorial light.”

Beautiful.

So that’s all well and lovely, but you’ll also find Fuller describing her mom’s hugs as “stiff, reluctant, and brief,” and she says that her mom has spent time in an institution “for the mentally unhinged.”

Her mom is very much alive, by the way.

I mean, many of us are still white-lying to our moms.

Me, I would never ever ever (Hi Mom!) ever write such a book. Would you?

-Helen

This is a sample of our nominated e-newsletter, Haute Flash.

I’m really proud to announce that our Haute Flash e-newsletter has been nominated as a finalist in the Canadian Online Publishing Awards (COPA).

We’re up against some stiff competition, but I’m hopeful we can walk away with the win! The COPAs are judged by a panel of peers and industry types. Last year, I was honoured to serve as a judge. Too bad I’m not judging this year, wink wink!

Kidding aside, Haute Flash is a special newsletter as far as newsletters go. There’s a lot of “perfunctory” out there, and this one, in my opinion anyway, is anything but.

Why so? Because Linda Lewis writes a letter in each one tailored to…well…you.  During my interim tenure here while the More.ca fearless leader Jennifer Gruden is on maternity leave, Linda has tackled such varied and zeitgeist-y topics as the necessity of splurging on swimsuits, the cancer controversy around Julyna (a newsletter that moved me so deeply that I reprinted it here as a blog entry,) and Twitter.

My role is to pick the links that you see, edit, gather images and cobble this bad gal together using software and generous doses of coffee. The result–we believe–is something that resonates with you.

So does it? What do you think?

(Also, you can read the full list of nominations here on Mastheadonline.com.  And sign up for the latest Haute Flash newsletter here)

-Helen

Overused and underserviced, our hands begin to rebel in our early 40s. The result?  Dark spots, wrinkles and bulging veins appear, making hands look older than they really are.

Sun damage and general aging top the list of contributing factors, says Dr. Diane Wong, owner of Glow Medi Spa in Toronto. But, thankfully, you can turn back the hands of time.

Check out the October issue of More for our favourite at-home solutions. If you’re interested in quicker, more technological options, here are Dr. Wong’s suggestions.

BEST FOR BROWN SPOTS

The most common procedure is IPL (intense pulse light), says Dr. Wong. Here, a wavelength of light brings the pigment up and out of the skin. Spots get darker and then flake off in about a week. It may take 1-3 treatments.

An even faster treatment is with Fraxel laser. “It gets to the pigment at its deepest point, so you not only get rid of visible brown spots, but the ones waiting to sprout. Usually one treatment is all it takes,” says Dr. Wong.

BEST FOR CREPINESS

Chemical peels and silk peels are nice in-office exfoliating treatments, she says, but the ultimate rejuvenator is dermal fillers such as Juvederm or Restylane. “Talk about WOW. You get immediate results with no downtime and virtually no pain or side effects. Results typically last a year.”

-Beth

(For the rest of your body, don’t miss our anti-aging skin care guide online. -Helen)

I posed this question on Facebook today, and here were some of your answers:

• “50,” said three.

• Of those three, one later said  (and I’m paraphrasing) “Actually I was going to say 45 until I saw the others posted 50!”

• “I dunno, I’m in my mid-50s.”

•  “My great-aunt lived to be 103, and I always said I would surpass her, so I’ll have to say 52.”

•  “It depends on the person’s health and attitude. I also find that, once people are over 45 you can no longer tell by looking at them how old they might be. There is a huge variation in what a 50-year-old woman looks like.”

• She also added: “And 80% of men just look awful after 45 or 50.” (Is it wrong that my sides hurt from laughing after that one?)

• “I’m planning to become middle aged in my 90s.”

• “I’m 44 and I have a 2 1/2 year old. I am definitely years away from middle age .”

What do you think?

-Helen

P.S. Have you heard of the expression “menopot?” Read Karen Hamilton’s tale of middle-age-midsection woe.

This week’s View from her, “Accidental mommy.”

Every week we feature a “View from her” (see the lower left of the More.ca homepage), and you’re officially invited to add your “view” for posting on our site.

Me and Grace (our web producer) are looking for your contributions. Pseudonyms or first-name-only are just fine — you don’t have to write using your real name, but you do need a MyMore account. That means entering your email address, which doesn’t show up publicly anywhere.

If you’re up for the challenge, you can also let me know directly if you have any issues logging in or getting an account. I’m at hracanelli[at]transcontinental.ca. You’re not bothering me — I love to hear from all of you and I’ll help anyway I can.

What should you write about? Essentially, we’re looking for transformative experiences that you’ve lived and learned from.

I’m not you so I don’t know what that could entail, but here are some ideas:

• Why doing something (attending university as a mature student, getting a divorce, going bungee-jumping) changed you for the better

• Some piece of wisdom that you can share. It doesn’t have to be profound

• How you felt about getting wrinkles, acne and office bum at the same time (Wait. Maybe that’s just me)

We’re looking forward to hearing from you, so come share.  We’ll make a good effort to include all appropriate ones on More.ca in coming weeks. Full guidelines are here.

-Helen

This image: Artist Tina Dolter (fourth from right) with models at the Christina Parker Gallery in St. John’s.

This is the second part of a two-part blog post about Newfoundland artist Tina Dolter and her upcoming Toronto show, “The sensuality of the maturing woman.”  (Read Part 1 here.)

If you can’t make it to Toronto for Tina Dolter’s show, you can see many of these paintings in her online portfolio. The women of Corner Brook, Newfoundland are here and St. John’s, here.

Are all the women in the paintings Newfoundlanders?

No, not all are Newfoundlanders, but I do know all of the Newfoundlanders personally. The others I either knew myself, knew of them and approached them, or they were referred to me by people involved in the series or that knew of the project.

How did this project start?
In 2001, in my final year of my Bachelor of Fine Arts degree, I became involved with a calendar project to raise funds for a palliative care unit in my home city of Corner Brook, Newfoundland.

I soon realized that I had found what to focus my thesis on, and I invited three of the models from the calendar project to pose for me. These three portraits were so well received by our community that I could feel the spark of something much grander forming.

I was delighted to be approached by more women in my area who wanted to take part. The project was evolving into a profound statement about women and our collective concerns about aging and how we feel about our bodies, minds, and spirits as we get older. The exhibition of the first twelve portraits opened at the Arts and Culture Centre in Corner Brook in 2005.

I was overwhelmed with the response and encouraged to keep going with the series. Women began calling and emailing wanting to be part of the project.

This [show] will be a curated version of the entire series, featuring woman from Corner Brook and St. John’s Newfoundland, Ontario, and BC.

Tina has also organized a panel discussion to take place Wednesday Sept 21 from 7-9pm at the Propeller Centre on the topic of “redefining the art of aging well.” Call the gallery to register as seating is limited.

-Helen

This is Newfoundland visual artist Tina Dolter with paintings from her series The Sensuality of the Maturing Woman. Check in with us at the end of the week to see part two of this post.

I love Tina Dolter. I am envious to my bone marrow of her enormous talent, and she dispels any myth of the visual artist at midlife as a navel-gazing crunchy granola type with paint in her hair and sensible sandals on her feet. In other words, she’s down-to-earth and smoking hot.

On Sept. 15 in Toronto her show “The Sensuality of the Maturing Woman” is opening at the Propeller Centre for the Visual Arts. “This project is a series of more than two dozen life-size portraits of women between 40 and 85 who are enjoying the most creative, dynamic time of their lives,” says Dolter. I had the opportunity to ask her a few questions about her work.

Why this subject matter, the “maturing” woman?
I think it is so important to celebrate this stage of our lives, and what mature women bring to their families, communities, and society. In this age of obsession with youth, we have lost the respect and reverence that wise mature women enjoyed in times past. This is so unfortunate, and we need to reclaim that matriarchal status. This project celebrates the accomplishments of our lives, the self acceptance, confidence, wisdom, and self assurance that come with maturing. We are going to age, that’s a given. All of creation ages. [But] our life, manifested through the presentation of our physical body, intellect, and spirit, is a gift meant to share.

Next post: Are all these women from Newfoundland? And how Dolter’s calendar project kicked off a word-of-mouth phenomenon.

-Helen

More beauty editor Beth Thompson shares three of her favourite picks. Don’t forget to leave a comment (instructions at the end of this post) to win all three of these products.

1. Bio-Oil may be famous for making scars and stretch marks disappear, but it can also work wonders on your hair. I use it daily to smooth my top and hydrate my ends. Because it’s dry oil, it gets the job done without weighing hair down or making it greasy. The result? Well-behaved, glossy locks. Bio-Oil, $13.

2. Love the idea of lip liner, but hate the telltale outline? Here’s a good trick. Apply liner along your cupid’s bow only, then blend down and sideways. The line will soften, but the colour will stay put. Repeat in same area on bottom lip. Apply stick, stain or gloss as usual. You’ll have natural-looking, but defined lips all day long!  Try M.A.C Lip Pencil, $16

3. You don’t need to drop a wad of dough to get a doe-eyed look, just try Maybelline New York Great Lash Mascara, $.6.50. Launched in 1971, the mascara became an instant hit among models and make-up artists alike due to its ability to deliver long, healthy-looking lashes. It’s still a favourite today— one is sold every 1.2 seconds somewhere in the world. Need another reason to try it? This year it joined the 40-club, so it’s finally one of the girls.

-Beth

Win Bio-Oil, M.A.C lip pencil in Cherry and Maybelline New York Great Lash in Very Black. All you have to do is share your own favourite beauty product with a brief description of why you love it, below in the comments. Comment by September 9th, 11:59pm and we’ll pick our fave.

My family doctor is very attentive and exchanges the usual pleasantries whenever she sees me, which consist of a smattering of small talk and health-related chitchat, but yesterday she had me laughing my unclothed arse off.

I saw her for a checkup, and she got into a bit of detail about why she had to cancel my original appointment scheduled for last week.

She had been visiting her ailing but zany 92 year old grandmother.

• Her grandmother has been married 12 times. She collects pensions from all over the word courtesy of her many deceased husbands.  She’s been married to a one-eyed general, not to be confused with the one-armed general she had also once been married to.

• She smoked cigarettes out of a long holder, Auntie Mame style and wore all-white outfits topped with a tall white fur hat.

• Apparently she is most unpleasant, and told my doctor, who took a day out of her practice to go and see her, “You look fat.” My doctor probably weighs 100 pounds.

• She keeps coming back from near death experiences, leading one of her family members to pronounce “It’s because God is afraid of her.”

I was absolutely in stitches and the appointment was over in no time. Obviously a doctor’s expertise is more important than her ability to make you laugh, but I really appreciated that she shared that colourful personal story with me.

It also made me reflect how little I have ever known about my health-care practitioners’ lives. I’ve had the same dentist for 25 years and I still have no idea if he’s married (not that I’m applying for the job, I’m just saying) or if he has kids…or really anything about him other than his name. Same for my previous family doctor.

So it was nice share a laugh with my doctor, and learn more about her.

Do you prefer to know a little, or do you like to keep things business-like?

-Helen