Here’s the dilemma that came up in conversation this weekend. All names changed!
Barb has a good friend Judy, and the two of them often go to see movies together. Recently Judy and Barb have both hooked up with some new friends from a group to which they both belong and the four of them have had a good time together. This weekend, Barb saw on Facebook that Judy and the two new friends went to see Sex and the City 2 [gratuitous plug: don't forget our giveaway!] without her.
She says she knows she should just get over it but the exclusion bothers her. She feels like it’s high school and she’s been left out.
Feel free to weigh in on the etiquette of this dilemma, but here’s what I think – Facebook itself may be part of the problem.
Generally speaking, we kind of know our friends do things without us. But generally our friends also have the tact not to bring those things up in front of us. (I myself have gone to see a movie twice a few times rather than fess up to having gone with a third party.) Facebook, however, makes many things we do more visible – and it’s not even entirely within our control if a friend posts a comment on our status like “sorry you have a cold but great movie last night eh?”
I just don’t think we’ve all established enough social norms to cover how to report on our socializing without occasionally making someone feel excluded.
What do you think? And lest you think you’re too old for the question, just remember: 61 per cent of Facebook users are over 35, and so chances are some of your friends are making plans there you’re not seeing. (But that’s a different dilemma…)