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Here’s the dilemma that came up in conversation this weekend. All names changed!

Barb has a good friend Judy, and the two of them often go to see movies together. Recently Judy and Barb have both hooked up with some new friends from a group to which they both belong and the four of them have had a good time together. This weekend, Barb saw on Facebook that Judy and the two new friends went to see Sex and the City 2 [gratuitous plug: don't forget our giveaway!] without her.

She says she knows she should just get over it but the exclusion bothers her. She feels like it’s high school and she’s been left out.

Feel free to weigh in on the etiquette of this dilemma, but here’s what I think – Facebook itself may be part of the problem.

Generally speaking, we kind of know our friends do things without us. But generally our friends also have the tact not to bring those things up in front of us. (I myself have gone to see a movie twice a few times rather than fess up to having gone with a third party.) Facebook, however, makes many things we do more visible – and it’s not even entirely within our control if a friend posts a comment on our status like “sorry you have a cold but great movie last night eh?”

I just don’t think we’ve all established enough social norms to cover how to report on our socializing without occasionally making someone feel excluded.

What do you think? And lest you think you’re too old for the question, just remember: 61 per cent of Facebook users are over 35, and so chances are some of your friends are making plans there you’re not seeing. (But that’s a different dilemma…)

Update: The winner for the giveaway was comment #19 (Cindy). This giveaway is now closed.

I think my reaction after seeing Sex and the City 2 can pretty well be summed up in a larger artistic question which is: When is enough enough?

I love to slip back into the world that Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte inhabit: Great clothes, nice restaurants and conversation with friends who know and love you. Oh, and some good-looking men. (I’m not claiming that it satisfies my taste for realism.)

However this latest movie left me breathless at points, and it wasn’t because I was laughing. First the good: It is great eye candy. There’s a scene where Miranda and Charlotte discuss motherhood that cracked me up. And John Corbett is great.

But for most of the film I felt like I was watching a completely different franchise, along the lines of National Lampoon. For a franchise which I thought portrayed some interesting micro-cultural clashes — Steve and Miranda’s relationship; Carrie and Aidan up at his cottage — I found it amazingly tone deaf in its approach to the Middle East. For me that took me out of the film. I kept thinking: seriously? Seriously???

I also thought the jokes surrounding Kim Cattrall’s character Samantha and menopause were past funny to annoying. And hey, here at More.ca, we are always into a good menopause joke. But it was just too over the top.

I’m dying to know what you think.

And I even have some incentive for you: Comment on this post before noon on Friday, June 4 with any thoughts about Sex and the City – either film or the show – and you could win this fab SJP NYC prize pack.

Details: The SJP NYC cosmetic bag (available exclusively at the Bay in May as a gift with purchase), the SJP NYC bangles (available exclusively at Sears in May as a gift with purchase), the SJP NYC sparkling solid perfume bracelet ($39 suggested retail price, available in June at select Sears and Bay department stores across Canada), and a 60 mL bottle of the SJP NYC eau de toilette ($59 suggested retail price.)

As usual I’ll select a winner randomly from the comments. One entry per person please, and sadly we cannot offer this to our Quebec or non-Canadian readers. By entering you agree to accept the prize as awarded and we reserve the right to substitute a prize of equal value.

There’s a provocative Facts & Arguments essay in the Globe and Mail today about communicating with your kids via text.

I’d like to think that my pearls of wisdom could not be delivered in 140 characters but then I’m still enjoying the golden age with my almost-5-year-old guy where everything I say becomes The Law. I also wonder a bit about the immediacy of it – some of my fondest growing-up memories come from camp where I was not in touch with my parents and developed my own solutions (good and bad) to problems. (However, I think my memory is a bit suspect in this case.)

What are you doing? Do you use Facebook, Twitter or text to stay in touch with teens or young adults?

Got a website to promote – personal, professional or that motley Internet mix that blurs the lines? Got a great Twitter stream we should be following? Or do you read someone’s site, blog or social media stream we should know about? Here’s your chance to share. Be as self-promotional as you like, or promote your friends and family – no need to be shy.

Share the link (and if you like, a brief description) in the comments and we’ll help let everyone know about it! Please also include your email address (it won’t show up on the site) in case I have questions.

Just a few notes: Comments are moderated but we will see and approve them. Sites should relate in some way to Canadian women over 40. We will check each site out for inappropriate content (the usual suspects: hateful, etc.) before posting. We reserve the right to remove links from our site at a later date.

This weekend I went out for a bike ride. This is significant because the last time I really went for a good long bike ride was at the age of 25 – and I broke my wrist after an accident involving a leashless puppy. I never really got back into the saddle, so to speak.

But we’ve had a cascade of events at our house lately – cardiac events of those we love, an active almost-5-year-old and a home near some really great bike trails. And oh yes, remember I signed up for Weight Watchers? I’ve lost 23 pounds now. And although I would never really have wanted to know this about myself or admit it – that one last change has made a huge difference.

It’s almost like I’d forgotten how to put my health first, and simply recommitting to that goal has reminded me how much I enjoy being out and active, whether it’s canoeing or swimming or even riding a bike. I wouldn’t say I’m a fitness junkie yet, but I am out there a lot more and truly enjoying it.

I’ve also noticed that the sunnier side to my personality is coming out. It might be the endorphins from the walking and bike riding. It might be spring. It might be that feeling that I’ve accomplished something that was on my plate for a long time. Or it might be that I just like the way I look more and that boosts my confidence. Whatever it is exactly, I’m both happy about it and a bit sad that it’s weight loss…so many times I think we women wait to buy that great dress or start that new sport because of our weight. And we should not. But here I am enjoying it anyway. (Feel free to comment!)

We’ve run an article on the site lately about how one change can turn your financial picture around. I’m starting to feel like it’s true about health too.

What one change have you made in your life that truly makes a difference?

Welcome to our site refresh – just like you really should update your wardrobe now and then, we’ve updated the website.

What do you think? We really want to know!

This month in our Smart Talk newsletter, we interviewed Jane Farrow who organizes nearly 350 free neighbourhood walks in 50 cities to promote healthy communities.

So I thought I’d ask: What do you love most about where you live? If someone reads our blog who’s visiting your town soon, what should they see?

I live in Toronto, the city Canada loves to hate, so I’m not even sure I should answer this. But here goes: I love the lake most of all, especially the boardwalk in Toronto’s East End and the Scarborough Bluffs. I also think taking the 501 streetcar route across the city from Neville Park to Longbranch is a (cheap) trip everyone should do on their second trip to Toronto, after the C.N. Tower and the Eaton Centre have lost their appeal.

Did you catch the Facts & Arguments essay over at the Globe and Mail about how Facebook “ruined” the author’s high school reunion? She makes some interesting points about how conversations start and end and how we invite people to share our lives.

It caught my eye in part because I had a conversation last week with a group of new acquaintances about Facebook and how all of us — all journalists — have a hard time deciding where Facebook fits into our social and professional lives. It can be hard to balance diverse groups of friends, colleagues and relatives when they all interact – or it seems like they’re all interacting – in the same place. Political views, game invitations, and those odd memes can feel awkward and revealing. Promoting one’s self or one’s website can feel a bit pushy when it’s friends and family. And yet defriending someone or setting privacy settings to exclude them can feel a bit aggressive

I’ll be the first admit that I haven’t figured it out. I’m a graduate of the early Internet where pseudonymity seemed a core feature of the thing. (Although prior to that, before Hotmail and its ilk, it was actually more personal.) So I’m tossing it to you: Do you love Facebook? Or has it complicated things in strange ways? Or both?

This giveaway is now closed Hey if you’re in the Toronto area, I have a giveaway for you: 5 pairs of tickets to see Rock of Ages, courtesy of Front Of The Line, by American Express! Rock of Ages is a rockin’ musical, making its Canadian debut at the Royal Alexandra Theatre. Featuring classic hits by Journey, Twisted Sister, Bon Jovi, Pat Benetar and Styx, Rock of Ages is an 80’s fantasy come to life. The tickets will be for either the night of May 12 or May 13th. The value for a pair of tickets is $198.

I want to write a joke here about “we’re not gonna take it” and you TAKING these tickets but inspiration is low. (I just had to cue that song on my iPod.) Help me out if you want as you enter, but follow the instructions below:

All you have to do is be at or above the age of majority and share your favourite band in the comments before midnight (Eastern Time) on Sunday, May 9th. I will select numbers randomly and whichever comments correspond to those numbers will win. (This way my taste in music will not come into it.)

Be sure your email address is correct in the email address field so we can contact you (it won’t appear on the site). One band/comment/entry per email address please. If your comment doesn’t appear right away, it’s in moderation, but we will see it.

Other legal stuff to remember: Sadly if you’re a resident of Quebec, we can’t give you the tickets even if you’re in Toronto. As I said, one entry per person please. When you enter the contest you agree that Transcontinental is not responsible for the fullfillment of the tickets other than giving your name to AMEX’s representatives, and will not substitute tickets if the show is cancelled, or for any costs associated with the tickets and that you will accept the prize as awarded, no substitutions.

I hope that didn’t discourage you because it’s a great night out.

And for more information on Front Of The Line promotions, visit the American Express Canada Facebook page. While you’re at it, visit our Facebook page too!

Thanks:

Sadly, Lynn Redgrave has passed away.

On lighter notes, here’s what we’ve been reading lately:

Sam Taylor-Wood on dating younger men. (Harper’s Bazaar)

Hollywood’s double standard on May-December relationships. (Politics Daily)

People suffering depressive symptoms crave chocolate. (Globe and Mail)

The talents of a middle-aged brain. (New York Times)