In the spirit of “just doing it” I will post about how my work-life balancing act was blown last week.
My son had emergency surgery for a perforated appendix, which was scary enough on its own. (He is home now and recovering really well.) But it also meant that my husband and I had to go back to Toronto’s Sick Kids Hospital, which was where my daughter died, and so I found myself with a lot of really tough feelings.
In the past, I probably would have stuck with work a bit longer and stayed up later into the night trying to balance things. But I have learned a little something about that as I get older. First of all, I really am not as able to think when I’m tired as I used to be.
Second, I am not as essential as I hope I am; other people really can do my job, at least in a pinch.
And third, I have learned that eventually most everyone will have a life crisis that impacts her work.
With these things in mind, I did focus on my son until Monday and then worked in a reduced schedule kind of way this week. I did cry at work, but only once. Everyone here was amazingly supportive.
What have you learned about crises at work? What should I keep in mind going forward?
First of all, tough week. Wow, kudos to you for even blogging.
What have I learned about crises at work? Well, unless you work in the emergency and healcare fields, there are no crises at work.
Now that’s a shocker, eh?
But by the time you get to your forties, and live through deaths, sick children, relationship breakdowns, debt, you name it, you realize that what goes on at work is pretty trivial in the face of all that.
That is not to say that we can absolve ourselves of professionalism or accountability at work. It simply means that 98% of the time, what everyone thinks is a huge deal at work really isn’t.
Somebody will pick up the slack for us when we need to back off … or they won’t. Either way, the company won’t come grinding to a halt.
Look at all those employees who gave over 18 hour days to a certain telecommunications company for tens of years, only to find themselves out the door without so much as a thank you, let alone a severance package. I bet they wished they took time for themselves and their sick children along the way.
And extremely sick children are, fortunately,sort of worst case scenarios. As your hormones start to take you on a wild ride (oh ya, it’s coming), there will be days when you can’t even think. On those days, I simply accept that I can’t think, and I take a mental health day. The next day, I’m back at it energized and producing double what I would have if I had dragged my sorry butt into work the day before.
What should you keep in mind moving forward? Simple:
Cut yourself some slack. You deserve it.
Comment by Eliza — February 4, 2010 @ 5:38 pm
[…] Continued here: Life-work balance tilt - More Daily - More.ca […]
Pingback by Valuable Internet Information » Life-work balance tilt - More Daily - More.ca — February 4, 2010 @ 8:27 pm
Eliza thanks so much for your great comment; I so appreciate it! - Jenn
Comment by admin — February 5, 2010 @ 1:42 pm
Thanks for taking the time to blog about this important topic. It sounds like you have learned about priorities over the years, as I have. Actually I keep learning it, but at a deeper level, until I get down to ‘love & relationships are what count’.
And yes, co-workers can be so supportive & loving, & the work somehow gets done. I learned this in 1999, when many workers were crashing at the Women’s Shelter I worked at, & afraid there’d be no one there to pick up the slack. I was the 7th woman to go on stress leave (it was a very rough year). And there was always someone to be with the women, to support them.
Finally, I’d like to say that I don’t know exactly how you feel, but can somewhat imagine the courage & energy it took you to sit in Sick Children’s Hospital with after your daughter died there. My partner & I lost our 1st baby at 2 days of age (I was in Toronto General, she was in Sick Kids).
Please be very, very, kind & gentle with yourself for the next while as you need to re-group from all this trauma.
Warm regards
Ellen Besso
MidLife Coach & Writer
http://www.ellenbesso.com/midlifemaze
Comment by Ellen Besso — February 5, 2010 @ 2:01 pm
What I have learned from personal experience is that no matter what, life stuff comes first.
Comment by Tara — February 9, 2010 @ 1:04 pm
Ellen I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I really appreciate your comment and I will try to be gentle. And Tara, so right! - Jenn
Comment by admin — February 10, 2010 @ 5:50 pm
I am sorry to heard about your son.
I wish you son can recover well and soon…you also need take care of yourself.
Good luck!
Comment by Shenzhen Marketing — February 22, 2010 @ 5:53 am