Blogs on More

A recent news item reported that Dame Judi Dench is contemplating leaving the James Bond franchise, despite pleas from Bond co-producer Barbara Broccollii to stay.  Ms. Broccollii asserts Dench is “the real Bond girl!” This doesn’t surprise me at all because at 73, Dench comes from a generation of women my Dutch friend U. describes as flink women. A flink woman is someone who’s solid, substantial and dependable.

Good natured and hard working, she’s the kind of woman you turned to when you had to plan a funeral, sew 25 shepherd costumes for the school Christmas pageant or needed someone to speak with Aunt Doris about her wee drinking problem.

Every culture and group has their own version of this woman.

Coming from solid Ukrainian immigrant stock, the the flink women in my life had muscled arms, short, tightly permed hair and smelled faintly of bleach, sweat and cheap perfume. They never ventured far from their kitchens lest an emergency arise that required them to make a ham or some head cheese in a hurry.

Even within groups whose ancestors have been in Canada for more generations than we can count, it’s easy to spot the rigid postured, no-nonsense, “have a good cry then get over it” kind of woman who knows how to set things right when life goes off the rails.

These were the unsung heroes of our youth - the midlife women who did what they had to do.

Then, there are us. Raised as the “me generation”, in midlife we’re still spending a disproportionate amount of time on “me” vs. “we”. I have numerous examples .   Or maybe you don’t agree.  Either way, I’d love to hear what you think.

Although I may err on the side of avoidance with kooky new beauty treatments (ie, the bizarre fish pedicure), I certainly have many moments when I’m willing to suffer for beauty. Royal Ascot a few years ago comes to mind.

Let me set the scene: the day before the big event saw me trotting around Knightsbridge wearing a completely insane pair of heels while I looked for the perfect hat to wear. (By “perfect” hat, I mean one that would cause a hot, young member of the Spanish Royal family to instantly propose marriage and whisk me off to a Mediterranean castle).

As we all know, shopping under pressure the day before anything important is never going to work in ones favour and; wearing crazy shoes when retailing under said pressure is just plain stupid. But, you know, I was in Knightsbridge and I wanted to look like I belonged. By the time I was finished, both my credit cards and feet were aching.

The last thing I wanted to do the next day was strap on another pair of strappies, but damn it, I had an over-priced hat and swishy dress and I wanted to look cute while hobknobbing it with the Queen. Thirty minutes later, and I was in agony, but I refused to take off my shoes, though, lest I look low-classy among the well-to-do and gambling addicts in designer wear.

Luckily, I was in England, where drinking before noon is never frowned upon. I started knocking back drinks (champagne, natch) at 11am and never looked back. It’s a beauty tip I don’t often share, but here it is: high doses of alcohol make the stiletto ache bearable.

This rambling story about suffering for beauty is an introduction to an interesting bit of beauty news on the scene: Juvéderm, the popular cosmetic filler used to plump up wrinkles and treat thinning skin and lips, is now available containing the topical pain reliever lidocaine.

For the women that choose to partake in cosmetic enhancement, this is definitely good news - it will mean less pain during treatment and an elimination of some of the methods of pain relief given prior to injections (numbing creams, nerve blocks, etc). I think using lidocaine (the same pain killer given when having a tooth fixed at the dentist) will soon become the industry standard for fillers- who’s going to want a needle that hurts if you can avoid it?

I’m not an injectables girl myself, so I can’t vouch for the experience, but I do know that suffering for beauty is never fun. If you only knew my many hare-brained, mad-scientist schemes for making bikini waxes bearable… but that’s another story.

www.juvederm.ca

What craziness have you done in the name of beauty?

We’re starting a series of recognizing milestone birthdays and here’s our first one: we invited internationally known blogger Tertia Albertyn to share her thoughts on turning 40. Tertia’s known for her openness in blogging - not only has she shared her struggle with infertility, she also shares other details - from Botox to plastic surgery.

Happy birthday Tertia!

Tertia’s post: I’ve never placed much store in the significance of any particular number.  21, 30, 40, it doesn’t really matter.  The only numbers that mattered to me for a long time was 35, because that was the age your ovaries turned into shriveled old prunes and your chances of conception turned to zero, right?  I had spent the first five years of my thirties desperately trying to conceive, all to no avail.  And then I turned 35 and I got pregnant.  Fancy that.  And guess what I am going to be on my 40th birthday party?  Yup, knocked up again.  Apparently my body didn’t get the memo about the shriveled ovaries at age 35.

Being knocked up and a bit round in the middle wasn’t exactly how I pictured myself to be on my 40th birthday party. I was thinking more along the lines of toned, tanned and perky, but oh well, life is what happens while we make plans.

There is something extremely liberating about approaching this next decade of my life.  My twenties were so full of angst (will they like me??) and my thirties filled with so much pain (when, oh when will I conceive?) and so I look forward to embracing my forties as a new start, the time to be me.

I’ve always been a bit quirky.  Odd as my friends like to call me.  Not odd in the traditional sense (tie dyed and crystal gazing), but just different.  Non-traditional.

And for a long time, I suppressed my oddness and tried to fit in but no longer.  I find as I get older, I am starting to embrace my inner oddness and I love it!  It is incredibly freeing just being who you are, without apology.

Strangely enough, it is only now, at this stage in my life, that I have been brave enough to take chances.  Even when I was a rebellious youth, I was safely rebellious.  And yet, at the ripe ‘old’ age of forty, I have started my own business for the first time. I never thought I could, I thought I was too risk averse, that I needed the safety of a regular income check.  Taking my passion for helping people and my experience in infertility and turning it into a business has been the most affirming thing I’ve done.  Less than a year ago, along with my best friend Melany, we launched Nurture – South Africa’s premier Egg Donor and Surrogacy program.  It has succeeded way beyond even our most hopeful expectations.  I feel immensely proud of myself to taking this step, I have skills I never knew I had.  Just shows you, you never stop learning about who you are.

As I turn forty, there is none of the angst I thought I would have, there is no sense of fear or loss, instead there is a sense of softness (and not just around my middle), of acceptance and of liberation.  I feel lighter (even though I am physically heavier) and taller than I have ever felt before.  As I shrug off the shackles of ‘what other people think’, I look forward to this new chapter where I am who I am, and best of all, I like who I am, warts and all.  How wonderfully freeing.

Tertia Albertyn writes about life after infertility on her award winning blog ‘So Close’ (www.tertia.org).  After eventually conceiving twins on her 9th IVF, she decided to channel her experiences as an infertility veteran into something positive for others.  Nurture, South Africa’s premier Egg Donor and Surrogacy program (www.nurture.co.za) is aimed at helping others build the families they long for. Tertia has a MBA from the University of Cape Town and lives in South Africa with her husband and two children.

If you have a favourite blogger you’d like us to recognize as she turns 40, 45, 50, 55, or 60, email us!

I’m having one of those days.  And since I’m a web editor, I have a folder in my favourites labelled “ThoseDays” with all kinds of crazy snippets from across the web and I’ve decided to get brave and start sharing them with you all on Tuesdays, at least until the end of the year.

So today’s is an essay on the NPR “This I Believe” website, from Alice Brock - the original owner of Alice’s Restaurant. Yes, the Arlo Guthrie song. Here’s the start:

“Just because you have only six plates and three glasses is no reason why you can’t invite 12 people to dinner. “

(Share your own inspirational stories in our View from her section!)

The Wall Street Journal Online says it can be a health hazard to read drug labels too closely. You can read the article if you’re registered at the site (it is free), but here’s the opening paragraphs to give you the central point:

“Is it a good idea to read about all the possible side effects of medications you’re taking?

Not if you have difficulty concentrating, headaches, fatigue, dry skin, irritability, a big project due, or an active imagination.

Research has shown that expecting to feel ill can bring illness on in some instances, particularly when stress is involved. The technical term is the “nocebo effect,” and it’s placebo’s evil twin. “It’s not a psychiatric disorder — it’s the way the mind works,” says Arthur Barsky, director of Psychiatric Research at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston.”

The piece by Melinda Beck goes on to state what may be obvious: doctors can treat the nocebo with - a placebo.

I’m still going to read the labels on anything I take, but I think being reminded that what we read impacts us is a good thing. This weekend, I’m not going to read anything about holiday stress. Think I’ll be able to avoid it that way?

GTA-area bargainistas and beauty trend-hunters looking for an excuse to spend money/ boost the economy, I’ve got good news. There are several great beauty sales and special one-day offers happening this week.

The Lisa’s Cosmetics beauty sale starts November 22-25 at 1380 Rodick Road in Markham, and will have big savings on brands like Elizabeth Arden, Red Earth Cosmetics and Yves St Laurent. 905-477-1605
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If you’re in the market for a new mascara, Lancôme’s new Ôscillation vibrating mascara will be available in a one day sale starting at noon on Thursday November 20th at The Bay, 176 Yonge Street (Toronto) and La Baie, 585 rue Ste-Catherine Ouest (Montreal) as well as online, at Lancome.ca.

This doesn’t officially go on sale to the public until December 6 and there will be limited quanities available of this very buzzy, wait-listed item, so get in there early and be in the mood to pounce!

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The Apex Outlet store in Woodbridge has savings of 50-75% off health and beauty products like Joico, Sebastian and Redken. You can also get great prices on hair appliances like flat irons and hair dryers. 419 Jevlan Dr, in Woodbridge. Sale runs from now until Christmas. 905-850-9949.
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Proctor & Gamble are having a warehouse sale at the International Centre, Hall #6, 6900 Airport Rd in Mississauga. The sale runs from now until the 30th of November and is a great place to pick up staple items from brands like Olay, Pantene and Crest. 416-568-8979.

Got sales in your area? Please comment and share the bargains!

The headline from Scientific American kind of says it all: Pot joins the fight against Alzheimer’s, memory loss.

I’m glad to know the second-hand experience I had a few (okay, quite a few) years ago at the Bob Dylan concert at Maple Leaf Gardens may have had a positive effect. Now, if only I could remember what it was I was trying to remember…

I can only imagine what Meg Ryan might have been imagining during her fake orgasm scene in the movie When Harry Met Sally but I wouldn’t be surprised to learn she was thinking about a trip to the spa.

Recently I had reason to visit three – yes three! – spas in the course of one week. Between the facials and massage and pampering galore, not only was I glowing, I couldn’t keep myself from saying, “Yes, yes, yes!”

My first stop was at the lovely be studio, which focuses on holistic treatments. Owner Jessica Fletcher has created a tranquil and welcoming place where visitors set aside the stress and turmoil of their day and regain some calm and balance.

All of the holistic treatments, including reiki, yoga, aromatherapy or Swedish deep tissue massage, are designed to promote wellness.

I went for the lymphatic facial and I have to tell you – it was the most relaxing hour I have enjoyed all year, possibly all decade. Practioner Vanessa McGrath, who gave me my facial, tells me it’s perfect for women of a certain age who are concerned about sagging skin. Hosta La Vista, turkey wattle and jowls!

By the way, a good exercise to tame that turkey (wattle) is to try to touch your tongue to the tip of your nose. Check out more tips from be studio.

Next up was the opening of the new Dove Spa in Oakville, the first in Canada. (Another is planned for Toronto sometime next year.) I was curious about what the people behind the Campaign For Real Beauty would serve up in a spa.

The thing that impressed me most was how much they had to offer. From classic manicures to the more esoteric Hopi ear coning, if you’ve heard of it, you’re likely to find it here.

I took advantage of a complimentary skin analysis, where a skin care technician used a multi-dermascope machine to measure the oil, water, elasticity and pigmentation levels in my skin.

Fearing too many years spent in the sun and my tendency to grab a cup of coffee over a bottle of water, I was a little apprehensive about what the analysis would reveal. Surprisingly, I fared pretty well for a woman my age, but the helpful technician did recommend I take a look at their house-brand Re-discover line, designed for more “experienced” skin. Me and my skin – at least one of us is experienced.

My final encounter was with Naturally Carmel Mobile Spa. Because they bring the spa to you, this might just be the perfect choice for busy Toronto women.

Their Bodacious Beauties party, a package just for women over 40, especially intrigued me. As owner Carmel Lundin tells me, “Girls just want to have fun but ladies know how to do it.”

So there you have it – three days and three spas. If you have a chance to try one or all of them, let us know if you’re satisfied. I’m pretty sure there’ll be no need to fake it.

Do you have recommendations for spas outside of Toronto (Karen’s area of expertise)? Post them in the comments!

I wanted to share the link I mentioned in the previous post with you all. The video should be up for about 24 hours and it’s at this link - click on the “Compass newscast” in the top right-hand corner, and Cindy Morin is featured at the 50-minute mark.

Helen Mirren is making my day, again.  This time it’s because of an article from The Sunday Times, penned by Chrissy Iley. I love this paragraph:

“I don’t think she was born this much of a sexual being. I think she earned it with wit, confidence, and intelligence. Her face is so animated. You see her feeling everything. Sure, there are lines, but it’s not the lines you notice. It’s not the age, which is 63. You just think she’s hot — not hot ‘for her age’.”

Although I’m not exactly Helen Mirren hot, I think this is exactly how I’d like people to think about me - as a person without the “… for her age.”  Fabulous.

Speaking of beautiful women over 40, our model search winner, Cindy Morin, will be on CBC Charlottetown tonight. I’ll be posting a link after it’s available on their website, so stay tuned!