Just getting good
I'll be honest — it was boring. At least in the beginning.
Kyle and Ashley, our new neighbours, are expecting their first child. So the ladies on the block, all mothers in our forties with teenagers at home, decided to throw a little party. It's been a while since any of us attended a baby shower, but we were up for a night out.
We should have expected it, but all Ashley wanted to talk about was the baby. It was all "car seats" this, and "Diaper Genie" that. The rest of us could only listen politely, eat our pink and blue cupcakes and wonder how long until we could graciously make an escape.
In fact, I was just reaching for my purse when Ashley began telling us about her prenatal class. "Our instructor says the baby must have skin-to-skin contact immediately after the birth or the entire bonding process will be compromised," she explained. "I'm trying to convince Kyle to wax his chest hair so if I can't hold the baby, Kyle can be a surrogate. But he's not keen on the idea, and I think he's being selfish."
Difference of opinions
For a moment, time stopped. With forks and wineglasses poised in mid-air, we considered her words. A few of us shook our heads imperceptibly, as if we hadn't heard quite right.
Then Joanna, taking a swig of her Merlot, leaned in close to Ashley, looked kindly into her eyes and said, "Well, you know, honey, that's bullshit."
"You think Kyle's being selfish now?" asked Helen, reaching for more wine. "Wait until you've been alone with the baby all day and he phones at five o'clock to tell you he's going for drinks with the guys. Chest hairs — pfft!"
"You'll be desperate to get out, you know," I chimed in. "Once, when our eldest was an infant, Bob and I fought over who got to go to a funeral. I won. There was no way I was going to be stuck at home again. The funeral was awesome! I got dressed up, talked with other adults. I smiled through the whole thing."
