Smells like teen spirits
Sometimes I give advice—unable to control myself with such a captive audience. When counselling potentially law-breaking teens (and is there any other kind?), I point out that while a criminal record may not seem like a big deal, cross-border shopping could be jeopardized—a threat that should frighten at least the female pre-cons. Or will it? They stare intently as I speak, but are they really listening or simply hallucinating on my earrings?
Lately, my kids' friends have been getting their driver's licences (not my kids, thank god), so I'm left to grill their buddies at the door as my son searches for his favourite hoodie. Initially they think I'm trying to get the goods on him, but really I want to hear about their lives. "You still dating Leslie? The tattoo's healing, right? When's your court date?"
I will tell you: Ten times out of 10, teenagers have more interesting lives than adults. There's drama—breakups, hookups, detentions, overdoses, arrests (sometimes simultaneously).
Since ramping up my sleuthing skills, I'm the toast of adult cocktail parties, where everyone still thinks ecstasy is cutting edge. I also take great pride in being the only adult in the world who knows why teenagers like to do their community service hours at the vet's. (Hint: It has more to do with on-site pharmaceuticals than cute, fluffy animals.)
But hey, it's back to my job. And yes, I'd be happy to drive your kids to the outlet mall in heavy traffic. It may take an hour, but to me it's 60 Minutes.
More advice for parenting teens: Social media—what you need to know, how to spot and stop cyberbullying, and how gossip can do damage that lasts a lifetime.
This article originally appeared in the October 2009 issue of More
